Wednesday, September 30, 2009

MMA Are You Shitting Me News!


Kimbo Slice is bragging on the Internet that he walks around with a gun on his person at all times. The statement came when Justin Wren, a member of this season's TUF cast, related a story told to him by Kimbo Slice, wherein Mr. Ferguson at an American Top Team practice (where he is currently training for his UFC PPV debut in December), was armbarred and got angry enough to return with a gun. Kevin has denied the story saying he carries his gun at all times and would not have to go anywhere to get it. Obviously, Kimmy is stating that he rolls, spars, and poops while wearing his gat which is super cool.

DMX, yes that crappy rapper/bad actor is going to make his MMA debut against Eric Martinez at "Alabama Pride" December 12th. To make the event even more legitimate and compelling, Tank Abbott will fight Jiu-Jitsu expert Butterbean in the greatest Main Event of all time! The south shall rise again!

Hershel freaking 47 year old retired NFL player Walker, has actually signed a deal to fight for Strikeforce in his MMA debut. Yes the world is ending. Number #34 also stated he believes he could beat any of the Heavyweights on Dana's White's current season of the Ultimate Fighter. Walker is currently training at AKA with "Crazy" Bob Cook and hopes to fight at Light Heavyweight to show the world his is a "martial artist."

We already know Randy Couture is set to face Brandon Vera at UFC 105, but Randy's ex-wife Kim Couture (yes, she's keeping his last name) has signed to fight Kerry Vera, the "Truth's" wife at Strikeforce in November. I think it should be a mixed-tag team match instead.

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson continues to prove he isn't scared of Rashad Evans by intelligently saying, “[Rashad] is probably happy as hell that I took this movie instead of whoopin’ his ass and he’s trying to play it up like he’s not. That’s all he is, he’s all talk. I did a show with the guy for six weeks, I know what he is. He’s all talk, it’s all show. If there wasn’t cameras or stuff around or nobody to grab his ass he wouldn’t do half the things that he did. Now he’s talking all hard, like he’s gonna hit me in the face? All he’s doing is really pissing me off more and more. I will go to Rashad’s house, knock on his door, drag his ugly ass out into the yard, let him play with his nipples first and knock him the f*** out. Like Rashad says, we’ll do the fight for free. I want him to put his money where his mouth is so I can knock his teeth out and give him some change, the boy needs a change, his mouth is too big but he ain’t nothing. The boy ain’t fought the people I’ve fought, he ain’t got the experience I’ve got. He’s barking up the wrong tree so he’s gonna get pissed on for real.” Then someone yelled, "Look, its Lyoto Machida!" Rampage promptly pissed himself for real and sped away in his monster truck.

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