UFC 235 Jones vs Smith: Fight Card, Half-Assed Musings + Fickle Odds

March 2, 2019

T-Mobile Arena

Las Vegas, Nevada

Main Card:

(Interim) Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones (23-1) -800 vs. #4 Anthony Smith (31-13) +550

What can one say at this point about Jon Jones? The guy is a horrible excuse for a human and a continual cheater, but he's a great fighter. It's just so frustrating to see someone with so much talent be such a cunt in life while claiming to be who he is not. "Bones" will win and the good guy/intelligent Anthony Smith will lose.

WINNER-Jon Jones by Rd.3 TKO

Welterweight Champion #1 Tyron Woodley (19-3-1) -145 vs. #4 Kamaru Usman (14-1) +125

Has there ever been two more vile men competing for a title in MMA? Hard to say. Both of these guys are arrogant as one can be and entitled to the hilt. This is going to be boring as shit with these two until Woodley lands the big bomb that knocks out Usman who will have excuses at the ready. This is the least interesting title fights you will see in MMA this year!

WINNER-Tyron Woodley by Rd.2 KO

#6 Robbie Lawler (28-12) +250 vs. Ben Askren (18-0) -300

Finally, on this card of petulant brats, we have the long awaited promotional debut of the "Funky" one, Ben Askren! The Mizzou wrestler has never held his tongue and that kept him from getting to the UFC for many years. Now, the former Olympian has a herculean task ahead of him to best former champ and longtime veteran Robbie Lawler. Nobody has been able to touch Ben's wrestling game which has lead to his undefeated career and championships in Bellator and ONE FC. Askren does the little things in grappling that laymen don't see but make all the difference as he uses as yet unmatched skills.

For the "Ruthless" one, it's just been too much. Robbie won the rematch with Rory MacDonald in '15, but at what cost? Both men left pieces of themselves in the cage that night. Then, Rob sat for a bit only to return and have one of the greatest fights of all time when he went to war with Carlos Condit (and won). Tyron Woodley took the belt from him in a quick knockout but Lawler returned in a year to defeat Donald Cerrone and finally, didn't take a ton of damage. Last out, Glenn lost to Rafael dos Anjos and took a blitzkrieg of combinations that could not have served him well. So to sum up, the 36 year old needs to start thinking about retirement as he has just taken an insane amount of punishment through his long career. Robbie always has that power striking and strong takedown defense that could cause real problems for Askren.

All of that being said, MMAFO isn't sure how much Lawler has left to give. Also, Askren isn't a striker, knows it, and will not employ tactics he is not completely comfortable with. Nah, "Funky" Ben will use his dome intelligence to avoid the big hitter quitter and find a way to ground Robbie who has never been good off his back and is susceptible to submissions.

Then, MMAFO creams the pants as Ben takes the mic in the Octagon for the 1st time!

WINNER-Ben Askren by Decision

Tecia Torres (10-3) +100 vs. Weili Zhang (18-1) -120

Now this, is an interesting and potentially highly entertaining match-up. Both ladies are action fighters with endless gas in the tank. However, we'd be shocked if "The Tiny Tornado" didn't win what is likely to be a points war. Torres can simply do a lot more offensively and Zhang has zero power in her hands and not enough varied attacks to thwart Tecia.

Upset Pick WINNER-Tecia Torres by Decision

#2 Cody Garbrandt (11-2) -135 vs. Pedro Munhoz (17-3) +115

Garbrandt thought he owned the world when he defeated Dominick Cruz for the Bantamweight title in '16. Then reality set in. Cody hurt TJ in their initial grudge match only to get careless and get caught himself. You'd think it was a learning experience until the rematch when Garbrandt did pretty much the exact same thing only the end came for him in the 1st round instead of the 2nd. Some people just never learn life lessons (ain't that right Mr. Jones). Cody is not a smart many by any stretch but he has fundamental skills and cray power for 135s. The Ohioan is also injury prone and competing once a year isn't going to earn him a title shot or experience. After back to back losses, the Team Alpha Male fighter desperately needs a win.

"The Young Punisher" has won 6 of his last 7 bouts and is a finisher! Munhoz likes to pressure opponents and then capitalize on mistakes. Pedro can submit just as well as knock a fool out.

Munhoz is better than our tiny breakdown hints to but this is a terrible match-up for him. Running into the hands of your opponent to get your game going is exactly what Garbrandt likes. Cody will be able to counter and land that power as Pedro shows little desire for defense. "Shitty Tats" can also use much better footwork to get things in the positions he likes most. We'd kinda like Munhoz to win this but likely he sees the lights instead.

WINNER-Cody Garbrandt by Rd.2 TKO

Prelims on ESPN:

#9 Jeremy Stephens (28-15) +205 vs. Zabit Magomedsharipov (16-1) -245

Stephens is an uppercut machine, but let's face it, he's a dummy.  Jeremy also has an inflated ego that was annihilated by Jose Aldo last July causing the "Lil' Heathen" to get a sports psychologist. Either that was a smart move, or more likely, a stop-gap measure that he quickly forgets.

Magomendomanoshevocanobuyonanosharipov has won 12 in a row and is 4-0 for the UFC. The Dagestani can do it all and especially excels in wrapping his long limbs and frame about foes for the squish.

Jeremy has a "puncher's chance" here. The guy has been thwarted many times but a grappling game and Zabit can mix it up and stifle Stephens' punch, punch, punch style. We actually see this being amusing as a usually frustrated when losing Jeremy gets angry at being inept.

WINNER-Zabit Magomedsharipov by Decision

Misha Cirkunov (14-4) +130 vs. Johnny Walker (16-3) -150

Johnny Walker "Red" steps in for the injured Ovince St. Preux on short notice after knocking out Justin Ledet a few weeks ago. This young Brazilian is obviously powerful as hell and loves to do a bizarre pelvic thrust dancing in the cage making everyone uncomfortable but, does he have the skills to contend at the top of the barren 205 division?

Cirkunov has been knocking on the door of the elite at Light Heavy but Volkan Oezdemir and Glover Teixeira wouldn't let him in. The guy is an athletic freak of nature but the two back-to-back knockout losses give us pause. Misha is a bruiser for sure but people seem to forget that he does his best work on the canvas beating fools into puddles and gaining subs. 

MMAFO was pretty high on Cirkunov initially, but those KO losses have really changed our minds. Also, he's a bit robotic and slow in there a problem Walker does not have. Johnny may not be destined for a title shot, but it's doubtful Misha is the guy to halt him at this time. 

WINNER-Johnny Walker by Rd.1 KO

Cody Stamann (17-2) -200 vs. Alejandro Perez (21-6-1) +170

"Daisy Penis" had a 10-fight winning streak snapped last out against Aljamain Sterling who humbled him with a sneaky submission. Cody kinda sneaks up on you. He doesn't do anything great, but he can do everything well.

"Turbo" came outta nowhere via AKA and is kinda that same thing as Stamann.

Flip a coin here folks.

WINNER-Cody Stamann by Decision

Diego Sanchez (28-11) +200 vs. Mickey Gall (5-1) -240

Jesus fucking Christ Diego just won't go the fuck away! God dammit we hate this fucking moron. Sanchez turned 482 in fight years recently and he's not getting any more intelligent either. 

Gall called for this match against Sanchez so he thinks it's a good fit for him though we don't see it. Mickey is a grappler but is his grappling strong enough to pose a threat to fellow grappler with a lifetime more of experience? From what we have seen of his striking to date, he isn't going to be lighting up Diego either.

We thinks Gall made a mistake here which the MMA word will pay for as Sanchez will get a 2nd win in a row for the 1st time since 2011! Shit.

Upset Pick WINNER-Diego Sanchez by Decision

Prelims on UFC Fight Pass:

Edmen Shahbazyan (8-0) -130 vs. Charles Byrd (10-5) +110

The 21 year old Shah is getting the shot here because, wait for it, he is managed by Ronda Rousey!

Meanwhile, "Middle-Aged Dynamite" is much more well rounded and with actual experience.

Upset Pick WINNER-Charles Byrd by Decision

Gina Mazany (5-2) +400 vs. Macy Chiasson (3-0) -500

We shan't mince words here. Gina has no business being in the UFC and Macy is going to roll over her.

WINNER-Macy Chiasson by Decision

Marlon Vera (12-5-1) vs. Frankie Saenz (13-5)

WINNER-Marlon Vera by Decision?

https://www.instagram.com/polyanaviana/?hl=en

Polyana Viana (10-2) -265 vs. Hannah Cifers (8-3) +225

On January 10th of this year, a male robber made the mistake of targeting Poly and tried to steal her phone. Bad idea. Viana fucked that dude up as can be seen in the included picture.The deadly beauty lost last out and that really seemed to quell some of the "prospect" status from her name. We think that's a big premature as JJ Aldrich is criminally underrated and "Dama de Ferro's" Jiu-Jitsu is quite good. MMAFO doesn't see anything special in Hannah's game.

WINNER-Polyana Viana by Decision